Don’t Break the Chain

I’ve been a big fan of comedian Jerry Seinfeld for as long as I can remember. I grew up watching his acclaimed television show, Seinfeld, and I’ve had the immense joy of seeing his standup comedy show twice in the last few years. I’ve always appreciated the absence of crudeness in his jokes, and I find his ability to find humor in the most mundane daily observances refreshing. I once read the advice Jerry often gives to young comics is to write a joke every day, marking each day off the calendar with an X. After a few weeks, those Xs will resemble a chain. “Your only job is don’t break the chain,” he tells them. As someone who finds crossing things off a list highly gratifying, this method of practicing daily habits appeals to me. It’s important to note Jerry says to write a joke each day. Just one. Start small, keep it up, and before you know it you’ll have a strong series of habits (or jokes) to draw from.

This is how all good things are set in motion, aren’t they? One small step at a time. Whether it’s establishing a study routine, a new exercise schedule or healthier eating habits, the progress we make is achieved by adding one link of chain after another. Years ago a weight-loss book called The Lean was all the rage. The premise of it was establishing small changes to your diet, one at a time, adding up to long-lasting results. It went something like this: the first week you were to drink a full glass of water every day when you woke up, the second week you were to eat an apple a day in addition to drinking a full glass of water. Each week a new habit was added to the previous ones. Plans like this work, so long as we’ve cast a vision for what we’re setting out to achieve. For the young comic, his or her goal may be to become the next Jerry Seinfeld. For me, it’s to become a full-time writer and speaker, a minister of words. What is it for you?

There are many steps to “becoming” whatever it is we’ve set our eyes on. To become a writer, I could take Jerry Seinfeld’s advice and write a little bit every day, maybe starting with a sentence, then a paragraph, and next a page. But to become a minister of the Lord with my words, I’m beginning with reading His Word every day. Every morning when I rise I’m communing with my Creator. I’m resisting the urge to hit “snooze” and skip the occasional morning when I’m especially tired. I’ve done this so many mornings in a row now that my internal clock wakes me before my alarm even sounds. I find myself eager to go and meet with God the minute my eyes open. So ingrained in me is this ritual that I can’t imagine my days with out it. I’m creating a chain, and I don’t want to break it.

Now that my time in the Word has been consistently established I’m adding more links to my chain, like walking to worship music each day after I get the kids to school. Oh the inspiration and refreshment these walks give me! With every step He speaks to my heart, clears my thoughts of all worldly treasure, and pulls my focus back to Him. I’m also implementing an hour to read for pleasure each day. Soon, each week I’ll be listening to and watching female speakers I admire. Eventually, I will add writing to my daily rituals. You would think putting pen to paper would be my first priority, but the act of writing itself is not what fuels my ministry as a writer. Luke 6:45 says that our mouths speak from the overflow of our hearts, and so it’s my heart that requires healthy habits of faithfulness. By establishing my heart in daily communion with God and immersing myself in the written or spoken words of others, I am preparing my heart to write. When I sit down with my laptop, I want fresh words of wisdom and encouragement to inspire me. The hours I’ve spent gleaning from worship, books, speakers, and God’s Word will spill from my heart onto the page, and that is precisely my goal: to minister to others from the overflow of my heart. It starts with one day, one habit, one step.

My husband, Zach, is a frequent goal-setter. He’s a big-picture guy. He loves casting visions for the future. I am quite the opposite. I am a planner (this is not at all the same as being a dreamer, believe me). I like to know what’s ahead so I can be prepared for today. Looking at a calendar months ahead thrills me so long as our plans are written and established. A calendar full of pending or fluid plans gives me anxiety. I think in concrete, black-and-white terms. My husband is more abstract, a visionary. Whether you’re more like me or more like Zach, the “don’t break the chain” method will work for you. Setting an overall goal and creating a plan to execute that goal with bite-size daily steps is the perfect marriage of perspectives. Whatever mountain you’re determined to move, it won’t happen without a plan, and it won’t happen without a vision. Imagine what your life will look like when that mountain is out of the way.

My daughter Providence made the choice to be baptized this past summer, and as we stood on the shore of the lake watching our friends take their turns being immersed in the water, Providence said to me, “Someday I’d like to help baptize my kids just like you and Dad are baptizing me tonight. And wouldn’t it be so amazing if I could stand by my friends and watch them get baptized too? My friends I’ve been bringing to church, maybe someday they’ll decide to be baptized and I could witness it.” She stood there looking out over the lake, envisioning what that would be like. She could see it playing out in front of her, her friends who don’t know Jesus yet today, being made new in Christ. I believe it will happen because Providence takes evangelism one day at a time. She extends love and compassion to her friends, and invites them to church and into our home. She prays for them daily, petitioning God for their salvation. Providence has made a habit of sharing the love of Jesus. She is slowly building a chain, one link after another, and the eternal reward won’t just be hers.

My friend Natalie said it best: “Habits shape your life. What you do consistently matters more than what you do occasionally. Small daily actions create big results over time.” I don’t know about you, but consistency is the hardest part for me. Life is full of interruptions and unexpected things that disrupt our hard-won routines. So often, this is why we quit things. We’re doing great with our healthy eating until we go on vacation or attend a party. We’re exercising every day until we come down with the flu. We wake up early to read our Bibles until we pull an all-nighter with a crying baby. We perfect the art of practice, but we never achieve perfection because life gets in the way. Thank goodness perfection is not the goal. My son’s taekwondo instructor reminds his students every week, “Practice does not make perfect. Nobody is perfect. Practice makes habit.” I love this fresh take on the purpose of practice. We place enough pressure on ourselves to be perfect. The world leaves no space for failures, yet we will all fail. The Bible tells us all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). So what do we do when the inevitable happens, when we break the chain? Too many of us quit and determine our efforts weren’t worth it, that we’re not worth it. I am grateful we serve a God who doesn’t quit on us as easily as we quit on ourselves.

I confess that sometimes there are days I sleep in and skip reading my Bible. There are days I choose a coffee date with a friend over my yoga class, a side of fries over a salad. There are weeks when my daughter forgets to invite her friends to Wednesday night youth group. The chain gets broken. But imagine if that were the end. Imagine if, after missing one morning, I never picked up my Bible again. Imagine I never touched salad greens or chose health again simply because I broke my pattern of wellness. Imagine if Providence never extended an invitation to church again. Such immeasurable loss all because we broke the chain. God knows the glory to be gained in starting again, in dusting ourselves off, and getting back into the habit. He offers us forgiveness so we can do just that. Lamentations 3:22-23 tell us His mercies are new every morning. All our days before the Lord begin with a clean slate. No matter how many times we’ve slipped up, He doesn’t stop offering us a fresh start. The God of the Universe believes we are worth it. He lets us try again, and again, and again, and again. His forgiveness and grace never quit, even if we do.

Eighteen years ago, I quit attending my college classes. I broke the chain in a big way. I withheld grace and forgiveness from myself and sat in my perceived failure. I allowed my chain to stay broken far too long. But God reminded me of the person He’s called me to be. He fixed my eyes on the plans He had for me to be a writer, a speaker, a minister of words. Three years ago I dusted myself off and went back to school, a diploma on the far-off horizon. It wasn’t easy, but I set to work putting links back on my chain. At the age of forty, I became a college graduate. It’s never too late to start again.

So what have we got to lose? Let’s cast our vision. Let’s dream of the big plans He has for us. Let’s pick up right where we left off, whether it was just yesterday or years ago. Let’s put one foot in front of the other and take this one day at a time. Our chain will get stronger link by link. Let’s try not to break it.