Hit Pause
Hit pause. Take a break. Walk away. Regroup. These are all things I say frequently to my children when they are bickering, frustrated, or overly emotional. I make them take a step back from the situation, collect their breath, and shake it off before entering back in. At first, they’re resentful about being forced to pause, but when they return calmer, refreshed, and with a more positive attitude, they understand why the pause was necessary. Usually, that intentional reset makes all the difference. This week my family and I were forced to hit pause due to exposure to Covid-19. It’s the week before Christmas, the busiest time of the year, and we are self-quarantining. We canceled all weekend plans, (of which there were many), and made the precautionary choice to stay home and away from people. 2020 just couldn’t let us go out without one final kick in the pants. Like my children, I was resentful about being forced to take a break, at first anyway.
This time of year our calendar is filled to the brim with activities. All of them are fun, but all of them draining and distracting. As heartbreaking as it was to cancel a holiday movie night, rescind an acceptance to a birthday party, and postpone a much-anticipated dinner with dear friends, it would have made for an exhausting weekend. All month long we pray for God to help us stay focused on the real reason for the season. “Help us remember who Christmas is really about,” we say with heads bowed. Yet we load every hour with tasks, crafts, and activities. We don’t leave space to have our prayers answered. We want to hear God’s voice through the noise, but He can’t reach a moving target.
When I woke up this morning and remembered we couldn’t go anywhere, I felt my body relax and sink deeper into the mattress. I looked over at the little nativity scene on my dresser, at the wooden figurines of wise men and shepherds all kneeling before the baby Jesus. A calm, intimate scene, captured beautifully in olive wood. That first Christmas, there were no festivities, no hustle, and bustle of the season. There was only a quiet night under a star-filled sky. The whole world carried on while there, in an insignificant little town, in a stable outback, a sweet new family and a few rag-tag shepherds paused as Heaven took its first breath here on Earth. Oh to pause, breathe, collect ourselves, and kneel before the King of Kings in a moment of still, sweet surrender.
Instead of resisting and complaining about having the pause button hit for me, I am trusting there was a good reason for it. I needed to regroup, check my attitude, and re-enter this Christmas season with a fresh perspective. I had lost sight of what it was about. Today I would have been rushing to and fro, but instead, I’m snuggled on my couch with my children watching The Nutcracker Ballet on television, sampling gingerbread cookies my husband made, and assisting in building a rocket ship fort from blankets and pillows. I’m watching flames dance in the fireplace and soaking in the scent of my favorite holiday candle. I no longer have anywhere to be but right here, at the moment, with my family. “Pausing, when the whole world keeps on going- is living,” (Rachel Macy Stafford, Hands-Free Mama).
Look up into the night sky and see the star that has set still over the manger. Walk slowly and intentionally into the stable and kneel before our King. He is Christmas personified. Breathe. Reset. While the world around you is frantically carrying on about their lives, pause.