It Feels Like Christmas

It’s the first day of the holiday break. I’m awake far earlier than I need to be, sitting in the quiet of my family room by the light of the Christmas tree. My favorite candle is burning and next to me I have gingerbread coffee steaming from a mug that says, “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” It’s a perfect Christmas moment. I love those, don’t you? Sometimes they’re so fleeting it makes them easy to miss. Like when you stand back to soak in the sight of your freshly cut Christmas tree standing perfectly upright in its stand, and for one brief second you think this might be the year you don’t contemplate divorce after the “teamwork” it took to get it in there…. and then the tree starts to lean, the star topples from the highest limb and shatters into a thousand tiny pieces on the floor, a string of lights goes out. We’ve all been there. Somewhere amid chaos are those still, quiet moments of peace (even if you have to dig a little). After ten years of motherhood I’ve learned those moments can’t be forced. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy trying to create special moments for my kids at Christmas, and I’m almost always disappointed when those very same kids ruin the perfect image I had in my mind. Every mama reading this understands what that feels like. I’ve learned it’s far more gratifying when I let those moments come on their own, often catching me by surprise.

Every Christmas Eve since I was a little girl, my family has settled in to watch A Muppet Christmas Carol. It’s a timeless classic, equal parts wit and warmth. In my opinion, it’s not Christmas until you’ve watched The Great Gonzo play Charles Dickens. (And can we discuss the comedic gold that is Miss Piggy still donning her purple satin gloves as she plays the role of Mrs. Cratchit?) I love every second of it, and to my children’s chagrin, I know every last word and sing the lines to every song right up until the credits start to roll. My favorite scene in the movie is when poor Ebenezer Scrooge admits he never really understood about Christmas, so The Ghost of Christmas Present lovingly walks him through the crowded streets of London on Christmas morning, serenading him with a song called, “It Feels Like Christmas.” He points out all the little acts of love, those fleeting Christmas moments that Ebenezer has always been too busy and too tainted to notice. “It's in the singing of a street corner choir,” the Ghost sings. “It's going home and getting warm by the fire. It's true, wherever you find love it feels like Christmas. A cup of kindness that we share with another, a sweet reunion with a friend or a brother. In all the places you find love it feels like Christmas.” I love this sweet reminder that a warm Christmas feeling is found in the little things, the unexpected gestures, the everyday comforts, and the pleasure of someone’s company. Once we understand that, we can find Christmas all year round.

Where do you find Christmas? I find it in a conversation shared at a local coffee shop. I find it in Saturday morning breakfasts, flipping pancakes on the griddle while my kids build blanket forts in their pajamas, holiday music blaring from the speakers. I find it in the “oohs” and “aahs” from the backseat as we drive around and look at Christmas lights with mugs of cocoa in our hands. I find it in the final hours of the day after the kids are in bed and I’m snuggled up on the couch by the Christmas tree watching a holiday movie with my husband. I find Christmas in the shop windows of our little town, the lights, and garland around every storefront. I find it in passing on traditions and sharing memories from my childhood with my own family. That’s when it feels like Christmas to me.

It’s love when it comes down to it. It’s love that encourages us to stop and take in those precious, Christmasy moments when they happen. When I watch my children dance around the kitchen and frost sugar cookies at the counter between fits of giggles, my heart overflows with love and gratitude for them both. When we give a hot meal or cold water to a person in need, we are loving them the way Jesus loves them. When my daughter snuggles up to her little brother, strokes his hair, then refills his water bottle and brings him his favorite bear while he lays in bed with the flu, she loves him so selflessly; it’s truly heartwarming. That’s when it feels like Christmas. Most especially I find it in worship service on a Sunday morning, lifting my hands to honor the God who loved me enough to step down from His throne and become a child among us. That was the greatest act of love the world has ever known, and it should change us, not just in December, but all year long.

“A part of childhood we'll always remember. It is the summer of the soul in December. Yes, when you do your best for love it feels like Christmas. It is the season of the heart, a special time of caring, the ways of love made clear. It is the season of the spirit. The message, if we hear it, is make it last all year.”

-The Muppets

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An Honest Holiday Letter, 2021

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My Last Meal