Just Write
I have a white, leather notebook with the words, My Thoughts, inscribed in black lettering on the cover. I bought this notebook the week before I launched Glory in the Grind, in July of 2020. I take it with me everywhere. It is my book of brainstorms. In this notebook are pages and pages of notes, scribbles, ideas, phrases, brief story references, all the random inner workings of my brain. I’m quick to grab it whenever I recall something from my past, a thought about my future, or my kids just did something I deem significant, (the barometer for which varies depending on the kind of day I’ve had). Whenever I sit down to blog, I refer first to my notebook. I rifle through the pages, scan over the words and I pray. I pray until my heart settles on that one little phrase that’s going to start it all. One little inkling I jotted down at some point will rise to the surface above all the others and I’ll use it to launch a new post. I can tell you with complete certainty that I never know what God’s going to do with it. I just write.
My process is anything but profound. The only “routine” I have is that I must be dressed in the loungiest (I just made that word up and I’m trademarking it) loungewear I own, a candle must be lit and my coffee cup must be filled to the brim. I also need complete quiet, so I never blog when my family is home. I’ve tried. I just can’t be in writer mode and mom mode simultaneously. I prefer to be fully present in one role or the other because I consider both my blog and my family my full-time ministry. I carve out an entire day to blog, and by “day” I mean from the time I send my kids off to school until the time I leave the house to pick them up. I don’t always need that much time, but I set it all aside just in case. I plan nothing else on blogging days, not even a load of laundry; I don’t like to feel rushed into completion or to leave a piece unfinished until the next day, (by then I’ve lost momentum). I love sprawling out on my couch or curling my legs underneath me in my favorite armchair. I love settling in knowing the entire day lies before me with nothing on the agenda but to just write.
I will confess to you I feel most confident as I’m writing, but even after lots of editing and thorough proofreading, my confidence wanes as soon as I hit “publish.” All of the sudden I question whether or not it was my best work if anyone will find it all that good or interesting, (and I always find a typo after the fact which makes me REALLY insecure and I question how I can call myself a writer or an English major). It’s at this point I take a deep breath and pull out my notebook again. My notebook is just as important to my process after I’m writing as it is before I begin. I filled the first two pages before Glory in the Grind was an actual thing. I knew it was important to have a purpose before I put any plan into action, so I wrote that purpose down. I reread it often. I can always use the reminder as to why I’m doing this, especially on days it feels I’m not reaching many people or it feels I’ve run out of things to say. When I’m feeling discouraged is when I need to be most humbled. My own words remind me I write for an audience of One. This is what I wrote:
My Intention/Goal: 1) Know God, not be known. 2) Seek His approval in all I write.
My Intention/Goal for the blog: 1) Helping others know God and know their worth. 2) Encourage others with authentic stories, thoughts, and Scripture. 3) Share what God’s teaching me and ask others to do the same. Humbly recognize I’m not the end all be all. Stay willing to learn from others. 4) Make God famous. Make it a reflection of what He’s taught me, not a display of myself.
I’ll admit, that blogging can be a lonely calling. I have no real idea how many people read what I’m putting out there. Oh, I know how many people subscribe to the emails or follow my blog on social media, but beyond that, I’m completely in the dark. There are ways to find out how many “clicks” my site is getting, or how many times subscribers open a link, things like that, but I’ve never looked into them. The temptation to seek approval as a writer is strong enough and since blogging is by no means my career (I like to call it a ministry), or a source of income of any kind, statistics like that wouldn’t be helpful to me. This is why I treasure any comments, messages, or verbal affirmation regarding my blog. Not because I need it to keep writing, (I don’t), but because it affirms my calling as a writer. My heart is so blessed when a reader reaches out and shares how my writing encouraged them, made them think, or made them laugh. I love to hear what God’s doing through my blog. Without Him, all of this is just words on a page. I’m so humbled to know what He can do through me, an amateur writer who just loves to tell it like it is. On that note, I’ll share with you what’s on the second page of my notebook:
When I feel discouraged about how many readers, how many followers, how many comments, remember, "We must remain firmly planted in His promises and His purposes. Let's not waste our striving on selfish ambition. Rather than striving, let's simply resolve diligently to do what He has called us to do, and trust Him with the results. The Proverbs 31 woman's response is what initiates her praise. Not her own words. Not her selfish wanting. Not her worthless whining, but her humble response of obedience," (Michelle Myers).
This is why I refer to my blog as a ministry, not a job. A job would be performance-driven, and quite honestly, if I measured the value or success of my blog by how many comments people left or how many active followers I have, I’d be woefully behind. This is also why I work hard to stay in my lane. I can’t tell you how tempting it’s been to add more to Glory in the Grind. I’ve dreamed of book clubs, favorite things gift lists, recipe sharing, merchandise, and all kinds of things I love and want to share with my readers, but then I have to reign it in and ask myself if any of those things fall under my original intention for Glory in the Grind. They don’t. At least, not in this season. Writing is a beautiful ministry He’s called me to. It’s an opportunity to use a gift I’m so very passionate about to speak God’s truth to others. So when you see my social media posts about sharing my blog or helping me gain more followers, please know it’s not because I need an ego boost; it’s because the more people I can reach for God’s kingdom, the better. More than any positive comment, what encourages my heart the most is when a reader tells me they’ve shared my blog with others. They are helping me get the Word out and advancing His kingdom to places and people I’ll never know.
I don’t know how many people out there are reading Glory in the Grind, but God does, and He’s working in hearts and lives in ways I can’t begin to imagine. I’m just so grateful to be a vessel for communicating His love and forgiveness. I know His words do not return empty and my writing is never in vain. So I will continue to answer God’s call to just write and let Him do the rest.