Keep In Step
My parents will tell you I was exercising my independence the minute I learned to walk. Before I even reached two years of age I viewed every public outing as an opportunity to run for the hills. Try as they might to hold fast to my little hands, my poor Mom and Dad could not hold me back. I would wriggle out of their grasp and take off as fast as my little toddler legs would carry me. I was a wild horse and I refused to be broken. In one instance I ran so fast out of a store I knocked over a mannequin. (Legend has it my mother has been blacklisted from Victoria’s Secret ever since.) My sprints for freedom became so frequent and so frustrating that my parents resorted to tying jingle bells to my shoelaces; the tracking device of the 1980s. The bells didn’t deter me from running away, of course, but they certainly made me easier to find. Once I got too old for things like bells on my shoes I had to up my game. I hid inside clothing racks or disappeared for lengthy periods in furniture stores, water parks, you name it. I imagine whenever my mother realized I was no longer at her side yet again, she patiently waited to be paged over the store’s loudspeaker. She’d often find me sitting at the lost and found desk next to forgotten wallets, water bottles, and grocery bags. (I like to think I kept her life interesting.)
I struggled to stay in step with my parents well into my teenage years. I’d walk far ahead of them in museums, national parks, beaches, and theme parks. The words, “Stay with the group,” fell on deaf ears. I just HAD to do my own thing, be my own person, and set my own pace. My parents were left frustrated or frightened at my constant disappearing acts. I wound up frustrated as well, constantly waiting for the rest of my family to catch up, or worse, I’d find myself completely lost and disoriented. My competitiveness and independence dually motivated me to push on ahead. As an adult, I pulled the same stunts during a marathon-length charity walk through the hills of San Francisco. I picked up my pace to pass every other group of walkers I came across. I can tell you it reaped zero rewards. I’d foolishly gone by all the rest stations, not wanting to waste time with things like stretching and snacks, just so I could cross the finish line in the first group. My muscles were so stiff I could barely move the next day. I was in so much pain I couldn’t complete the walk. Pace, it turns out, can be the difference between succeeding and failing, between safety and danger.
I’ve spent some time thinking about why I have such a strong desire to be the leader of the pack, to stay several steps in front of the group no matter what the consequences may be. The bottom line is that I like to be in control. When I’m in the middle of the pack, I have to go at their pace so as not to run into anyone or step on any toes, but when I’m out front I control the pace. Away from the rest, I feel uninhibited and free, but I’m also alone. As a child when I ran away from my parents I felt so grown-up, so capable of handling myself. It wasn’t until I realized how lost I was, how far I’d strayed from safety, that I understood how much I still needed them. As an adult participating in a race, it wasn’t until I had gone too far ahead and run out of steam that I realized how much I needed the accountability of the pack to keep my pace steady, to keep from burning out.
I often do the same with God. My desire for control gets the best of me and I set out on my own. I don’t wait for Him to tell me His plan; I have my own plan. I don’t let Him set the pace; I’m already several strides ahead. If I stop to listen to His voice, the one that’s saying “Wait for me,” I’ll lose my lead, and I can’t have that. Like in a race, I manage just fine for a while. Until I don’t. Pretty soon I am fatigued. I stop to get my bearings and realize I have no idea where I am or how I managed to get so far away from Him. I look behind me and see I’ve ventured so far ahead I’ve lost sight of everything that matters. I’ve failed to keep in step with the Savior.
In Galatians 5:13-25 we are told not to use our freedom to indulge in our ways, our desires, but instead to walk by the Spirit (v.16). To do this, we must be led by the Spirit, (v.18). The list of things we’ll find if we walk on our own is long, each one contrary to the ways of God, (v.16-21). But if we let God lead, if we take Him by the hand and stay safely at His side, we’ll reap the rewards of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (v.22). Verse 25 says, “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” It’s so important to let God set our pace. He may not always go as fast as we’d like. He may ask us to slow down to a crawl, to pause, or to stop altogether, but we can trust it’s for our good. We’ll miss a whole lot if we run ahead of Him. A slower and steadier pace is sometimes exactly what we need. It keeps us from using up all our strength, from speeding past the glorious scenery around us, from running head-on into danger, from hearing His quiet voice of wisdom; it keeps us from getting lost.
Just like a child trailing after my parents, keeping in step with the Spirit requires patience above all else. The temptations of this world are bombarding me constantly. I remember walking through a store with my mom and dad when I was young. I remember how difficult it was to keep my gaze from all the shiny new playthings and sugary snacks. It took every ounce of self-control I had to resist. I begged and pleaded with my parents to buy me “just one.” As I strive to keep in step with God, keeping my eyes fixed on Him and my hand firmly in His grasp will surely help me resist the lure of the world around me. In the same way, hearing my parents’ voices above the din of the television or stereo was nearly impossible as a child. I’d much rather hear my favorite program or pop song than the wise words of my mom and dad. As I strive to listen to God above the noise of the world, quieting my mind, my soul, and my heart to hear His still small voice will surely help me stay in step with the Spirit.
God sets our pace because He knows us best. He knows what temptations and dangers lie around us and He desires to keep us safe. He knows the limits of our strength and He desires to keep us from running ourselves ragged. He knows the plans we make without Him are sure to fail, and that without Him we will end up lost and alone. He wants to remain with us, at our side, as we match Him step for step. Only there can He stay in constant communion with us. And should we forget, should we run ahead and exercise our independence, testing the limits of His love, rest assured He’s tied bells to our shoes.
“In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Proverbs 16:9