Not for Nothing

Sometimes the weight of responsibility for my children’s spiritual training overwhelms me. I know their salvation is in God’s hands, but I also know He’s chosen me and my husband to be their parents and that means He believes we’re the right people for the job. We are not just raising humans, we’re raising souls, and more than any success or happiness we desire for our kids, what we want most of all is for them to know Jesus as their Lord and Saviour. The investment we must make as parents on this front is, well… big, but I don’t think it’s meant to be taken lightly. I think it’s meant to put us on our knees. We can’t possibly take this on without God’s help. The efforts we make to train up our children in the Lord will certainly be tedious and exhausting, but He assures us they will be worth it.

For years my husband and I struggled to stay consistent in leading our children through family devotionals. We know it’s important to open God’s Word together and to train our children to search the Bible for truth, understanding, and encouragement, but kids have short attention spans and by the time we’d gather around the dinner table the weariness of the day had set in and they lacked the maturity to engage in any kind of deep conversation. Most days the family devotional time we hoped for was more frustrating than fruitful.

There were seasons when we traded ardor for apathy. The carefully researched devotional books we purchased would sit unused on the shelf for months at a time. It just felt too hard to carve out intentional time that would only yield disappointment, so our solution was not to do it at all. In time I grew regretful of our choice. Without us to lead them our kids became complacent in their pursuit of God. The only discussions we were having with our children about God, the Bible, or faith were after church on the drive home or occasionally during bedtime prayers. Whenever I remembered to take the spiritual pulse of each of my kids, I was discouraged by how the conversation went. For growing up in the church and having a pastor for a dad, they didn’t seem to be making the connections I hoped for. Conviction gripped my heart. We’re a pastor’s family after all. This should be an area of parenting we excel in, shouldn’t it?

A few months ago I listened to a podcast by Daily Grace Company called Bringing Jesus Into Your Family Rhythms. The hosts were parents of elementary-age children, just like me, and clearly understood the pain points of establishing consistent family devotional time. They listed some of the many things that get in the way: lack of time or energy, feeling unequipped, kids’ attention spans, etc. All are valid explanations for why devoting ourselves to leading our kids in faith is easier said than done. But after naming all the stumbling blocks, they simply said, “Do it anyway.” That’s right. Even if our kids don’t seem to be listening or they respond to our questions with silliness and sarcasm, do it anyway. Even if we forgot last week or the family calendar took over and the devotional slipped through the crack, try again. Keep opening God’s Word with them. Keep sharing what God’s doing in our lives with our children. Keep leading them in prayer. Keep the faithful pursuit of God the cornerstone of our family. Why? Because God’s Word does not come back in vain.

Isaiah 55:10-11 says, “For just as rain and snow fall from heaven and do not return there without saturating the earth and making it germinate and sprout, and providing seed to sow and food to eat, so my word that comes from my mouth will not return to me empty, but it will accomplish what I please and will prosper in what I send it to do.” Here God promises that His word will do what He intended it to do. As parents, we might not see it right away. In fact, what we think our devotional time should accomplish may be different than God’s idea, but that’s okay. The point is not to be discouraged and not to give up. Trust that it’s not for nothing.

For years now Saturdays have been our family Sabbath, a day we purposefully keep clear on our calendar to do whatever we like so long as we do it together. One of the things we all look forward to after we’ve slept in and made our way downstairs in our pajamas is a decadent homemade breakfast. The other six days of the week have us moving quickly through the morning routine as we head out to the door to church or school, but on Saturdays, I make myself a cup of coffee and whip up a full meal for the family. It’s here, on these peacefully slow Sabbath mornings around the table that we’ve found our sweet spot for engaging in family devotionals.

Everyone’s mood is fresh and relaxed. We can take our time exploring tangent conversations because we’re not in a rush to be anywhere or get off to bed. The kids grab their Bibles and we find our next devotional lesson from the book we’re working through. We take turns reading aloud, looking up the cited scripture, and answering the discussion questions. We all learn something about each other on Saturday mornings. We share what stood out to us about the passage we read, we ask probing questions about times we’ve felt afraid, loved, or encouraged. We consider what God’s Word means for us as we embark on a new week filled with activities and obligations. We thank God for a morning to slow down and hear what He has to say. When we begin to value our children’s salvation over our idea of a successful devotional time, everything changes.

This discovery of Sabbath devotionals didn’t happen by accident. Part of addressing those pain points I listed before is addressing what’s most important for us as a family. Every family unit is unique of course, but in my household, we value quality time together, and by that, I mean giving one another our undivided attention. We also value reading; each one of us enjoys a good book, albeit in different genres. By implementing these two values in how we approach devotionals, we found a way to engage our kids in the pursuit of Christ and His Word. Our desire as parents was to change family devotionals from the most dreaded part of our week to the most anticipated part of our week, and what better way than to include it in our Sabbath, a day we all welcome with open arms? Does every devotional result in meaningful, Spirit-led dialogue? No. But we’ve never concluded our time together and deemed it a waste of time. Even on the days I feel certain the kids (or the parents) weren’t firing on all cylinders, I’m always surprised at how we circle back to what we discussed later in the day. God never fails to remind me it was worth the effort.

My son’s martial arts instructor likes to say, “Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes habit.” This is our goal as Christians, isn’t it? To practice the pursuit of Christ over and over again until it becomes a habit? When we set aside time to pray and read the Word and we stick with it day after day, eventually it becomes second nature. Our hearts and minds even yearn for that time. So trained are we to be with God that we crave it like our morning cup of coffee. This is what we desire for our children, but the practices that lead to habits begin with us. We must show them the way they should go. “Start a youth out on his way; even when he grows old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Again, God assures us it will be worth the effort.

Saturday mornings are not the only time we need to be pursuing the heart of God and tuning in to His Word, but carving out that intentional time to do it as a family is instrumental in the maturing of my children’s faith, and frankly, in mine too. I learn a lot from my kids around the breakfast table. They are wrestling with making their faith their own, and the questions that stem from that wrestling challenge me to articulate my relationship with God in new ways. Pointing our kids to Christ shouldn’t be something we only do once a week, however.

I love the passage in Deuteronomy after Moses returns from the mountain with the Ten Commandments. He tells the Israelites: “Listen, Israel; The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children” (Deut. 6:4-7a). After telling the Israelites the greatest of all God’s commands, the first instruction he gives them is “Repeat them to your children.” As parents, right after loving the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and strength, the most important thing we can do is pass on our love for God to our kids! How do we do this? Moses tells us in verses 7-9: “Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.” Sharing God’s love and truth with our kids should be part of our daily grind.

There are so many ways we can weave our love for God and His Word into everyday moments. For starters, we can begin each day by asking the Lord to heighten our awareness, to make these opportunities known to us as we go about our day. When we learn to see God in the daily grind, we can start pointing Him out to our kids. He will lead us to share, pray, and encourage our children every chance we get. For my family, this looks like playing upbeat worship music in the kitchen on school mornings as we pack lunchboxes, fill water bottles, and load up backpacks. It looks like asking my kids how we can pray for them as we walk to school and then saying those prayers as my husband and I walk home. It looks like putting a Bible verse, a fun fact about God’s creations, or a reminder that God loves them in their lunchbox every day. It looks like sharing with my kids what I learned in “big church” on Sunday while they were down the hall with their peers. It looks like praying aloud for help, healing, and comfort when we hear an ambulance or fire truck go by. It looks like addressing secular images and words we see on a screen with what the Bible has to say about it. What will it look like for your family?

When I was growing up there was a small wooden heart hanging on our kitchen wall. On it was 3 John 4: “I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are walking in truth.” When I listen to my son sing along to a worship song or watch my daughter sprawl out on her bed with an open Bible on one side and a prayer journal on the other, my joy is real. Just last night as I was driving my son to his martial arts class, he gasped from his seat behind me and said, “Thank you God for painting us such a beautiful sky tonight!” My joy was overflowing. That joy is the reward for the investment we refuse to give up on. Our children’s salvation will come in God’s good and perfect timing, but the foundation for that moment is laid by us, their parents, brick by brick, day by day. It’s not for nothing.

Here are some of my favorite resources for family devotionals and for encouraging conversation with your kids:

Faith & Kids Conversation Card Deck

Together Time: Fun Sized Devotions for the Whole Family

The Bible is My Best Friend Family Devotional (Share this blog post on your Facebook or Instagram for a chance to win a free copy!)

Check out Daily Grace Company’s family page or Dayspring’s family devotional page for more resources to engage kids of any age.