The Dream of Thankfulness

I had a hard day yesterday, or at least, it felt hard at the time. I was shedding tears on and off as I navigated the tumultuous emotions of motherhood. I felt more fragile with every passing hour. By day’s end, I was drained and defeated. Last night I described my day to my husband like this: “Ya know that frustration and powerlessness you feel when you hit every single red light on your way home? You just want to get home to your family, but you keep getting stalled. Emotionally that’s how I felt today. Just when things started to look up and I began to gain speed, I hit another red light.”

Now that I’ve had a good night’s sleep and several strong cups of coffee, yesterday doesn’t seem so bad. In fact, if I look closely, I can find the blessings amidst the burnout. I came across this verse today: “Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks. For we know it is made acceptable by the word of God and prayer,” (1 Timothy 4:4-5). God’s words here reminded me that even in the hard, there is something to be thankful for. I shouldn’t write off an entire day as burdensome when that day was created by God. I felt His gentle chiding at my narrow perspective. My setbacks yesterday were tiring and inconvenient, but at the end of the day, I was still a mother to two healthy, thriving children who snuggled up beside me and kissed me goodnight. My motherhood is the dream of the childless, and in my weariness, I had forgotten how long I prayed to be called “Mom.” The Lord prompted me to pray for those still yearning for the same.

There are plenty of days my husband comes home from church emotionally beat up. A pastor’s job is often thankless. Ministry can be exhausting and discouraging and some days are long and unrewarding. But it’s on those days God reminds me that my husband’s job is the dream of the unemployed. The Lord brings to mind our friends who were unexpectedly laid off or the friends who have run out of their severance pay and still can’t find work. I recall a season not that long ago when we were desperately looking for a job ourselves. I’m reminded of how long we prayed for the opportunity to return to ministry, and for the relief we felt when God provided this job specifically for my husband. Gratitude then outweighs the grievances I have about the long hours, the fragile dynamics, and the messy relationships that come with ministry life.

This month our newly purchased home has been acting up a bit, trying our patience with things like a garage opener that works only seventy percent of the time, a door jam that sticks no matter how much we jiggle, a washer and dryer that make abnormal sounds mid-cycle, and a smoke alarm that insists on beeping in spite of new batteries. In my exasperation, God reminds me that our house is the dream of the homeless. Our four walls and roof protect us from elements we’ve never had to endure more than a minute or two. Our garage door, while inconsistent in its functioning, holds two well-maintained cars. Our washer and dryer, though noisy, get the job done and provide us with an abundance of freshly laundered clothes. These are things so many only hope for. I hand a meal out the window to a stranger holding a cardboard sign and I drive home, unlock my door, and step into a house that welcomes me with warmth, food, and all the comforts I could ever need. Thankfulness then outweighs the testiness I’ve had about the inconveniences of home ownership.

There are days when the stress feels overwhelming. My children are testing my patience, I’m worried about things I cannot control, and the to-do list gets longer every hour. Some days I can’t shake off the “funk” and my energy wanes. I get so caught up in my discontentment that I misplace my joy. In my brooding God reminds me that my smile is the dream of the depressed. He brings to mind the seasons in my life when facing the day felt like facing Everest. My purpose was lost in darkness and the world seemed against me. I was shackled to my fear and shame, crippled by anxiety with no clear way out. God shows me how far He’s brought me since those days of depression. He gently turns my gaze away from my dark mood and back to my blessings. He helps me remember that my healing offers hope to those still in the shadows. Appreciation then outweighs my angst, and I turn my tired heart to pray for those in need of happiness.

Some days an upset stomach, a stiff back, or a throbbing headache are enough to derail me from reaching my goals. I groan, complain, and try to push through the discomfort. It’s on those days God lovingly reminds me that my health is the dream of the sick. He brings to mind the friends and family I have lost to serious illness and those currently fighting for their lives. He weighs my heart down with thoughts of loved ones battling chronic pain and searching for a resolution to their health struggles. I say a prayer of thanks for medicine, healthcare workers, and the peace I have knowing my minor health concerns will pass when the concerns of so many others will not. Gratefulness then outweighs my grumbling about the sensitive workings of my body.

I hope God’s reminders to me serve as reminders for you too this season. As we head toward Thanksgiving let’s devote ourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful for the blessings we have in full (Colossians 4:2). Reminders of God’s goodness are all around us. They are in the security of our paycheck, the protection of our home, the warmth of our smile, and the breath in our lungs. Let’s not be so shortsighted that we reject the blessings among the burdens.

Even when the gifts are hard to see, God’s will is that we rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). In every situation, we are to present our requests to Him with thanksgiving in our hearts (Philippians 4:6). Offering thanks can feel like a sacrifice when our hallelujah is tired. We must release our grip on our discontentment, our pain, or our grief, and trade it in for a perspective of gratitude. It’s not always easy. But in return, God gives us peace that surpasses our understanding and He guards our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). It’s here, enveloped in such peace that He reminds us our thankfulness is the dream of the disappointed. Let’s turn our hearts in prayer toward those with less, toward those without hope, toward those who need the gift we’ve been so graciously given: the gift of Jesus Christ.